Remember how hard and emotional it was for me to nurse Benjamin right after he was born? (If not, read here.) Remember how I cried and cried but pushed on and kept at it? Well, Benjamin and I both got the hang of it and though we continued to supplement with formula, he became a very good little nurser.
But now I have to wean him and I'm an emotional wreck all over again. It's hard letting go of something I worked so hard to achieve.
Last night I dressed Benjamin in his pajamas, turned off the light, settled down in the rocking chair, and opened up shop for the last time. I knew it was our final day but I didn't think too much about it--until Dave came in to say goodnight. "Now I don't want you to come downstairs all teary-eyed after this. Be happy!"
Well that broke the dam. I cried for the next hour as I cuddled my little boy and nursed him for the very last time. He fell asleep and I laid him in the crib with a sad feeling of finality. He's not my tiny baby any more.
But the whole reason I had to wean him is because we are going back to the doctor to go through another round of IVF. We are hopeful that it will work the first try this time around. We should know the results later in the Spring and I promise not to keep it a secret from my adoring blog fans.
In the meantime, enjoy this KSL news story featuring our wonderful fertility doctor, Dr. Russell Foulk! If you look quickly you can see Benjamin's birth announcement on the wall of announcements toward the end of Lori's story.
6 comments:
I was going to say, then don't stop nursing! There is no hard and fast rule as to when you have to stop. Stop when you are ready! But then I saw the part about trying IVF again, so I guess that makes sense that you would need to stop nursing to do that. Ok. Crying totally allowed. :)
Oh Chelsea, I'm crying with you. Your Benjamin is the most adorable guy, I can't wait to see his future sibling. Love you. At least you have years and years of cuddling left--nursing is for babies! ;-)
You and Ben made it a long time! Yeah for trying for #2!!
I've never had great nursing babies. It has always been somewhat of a fight but even with that there was always a little sadness over the end. But in a week from now it will all be better and you will find your new way of snuggling.
I enjoyed that news story too.
I remember the last time I nursed Ashlyn--also because we were about to begin the IVF process again. Although she was about 18 months, it was still sad to let that special part of our routine go. Hang in there! Love ya!
Nursing is my private snuggle time with the littles, it's a sad day when it ends. :( Lots of love and prayers to you guys as you begin IVF.
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