Still Here

I know what you're thinking. Where have you been?

Life is so incredibly busy and stressful right now. You know the saying that goes something like, "it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength"? That is how I have felt over the last few months - trying to run faster than I have strength.

We shuffled up our departments at work and now I feel like I have twice as many events as I used to have. My days are crazy trying to just keep up with it all. General conference is just a few short days away and I still have so much to do.

Young Women's has also had its ups and downs. I don't know if I ever mentioned it... Last summer the stake split our ward. But President Packer would only approve the division if our youth stayed together for mutual activities. I love getting to see all my girls each Wednesday. They are so good for each other and I know they are helping one another to remain strong and true in the gospel. Sometimes it is a little more difficult bringing together the leaders. I worry so much that I am stepping on the toes of the other ward's leaders. I want to be good friends with them and work well with them for the sake of all our youth. Sadly, the ideal is not always achievable.

Then comes the stress of Dave's dental practice. My heart is there. I wish I had the time to really focus on building it up and bringing in patients. I would find new ways to advertise, run specials, bring his office up to the electronic age, and more. It is my duty as his wife to be his business partner but right now I don't have more than 20 minutes a week to think about it.

The fourth, and most debilitating, stress in my life these days is a little thing called infertility. I bet many of you--all my hundreds of devoted readers--have been wondering why we don't have any children yet. We found out just over a year ago that we were going to have some problems getting pregnant. After many tests, surgery, and a few months of healing, we finally went through an in vitro cycle. Things didn't go as well as we had hoped and at the end of the cycle the results were negative. We were devastated but decided to move to a new doctor and try again. Last month we started the process for a second time with a new protocol of medications. When things didn't look any better than the first time, the doctor canceled our cycle. He put me on a new medication for a few months, which will hopefully improve conditions, and then we'll give it another go sometime this summer. Dave and I never thought infertility would be one of the challenges we would face. It has taken a toll on our emotions. Sometimes it is all we can do to stop our moping and think about the many good things in our lives -- and there are many good things. Such as lots of nieces and nephews whom we adore!

Yes, I am still here. A little worn down but definitely here.